A Practical Way to Support Anxiety and Depression
Identifying what maintains distress — and creating a list you can anchor to
When anxiety or depression are present, they rarely exist in isolation. They are often influenced — and maintained — by everyday habits, patterns, and ways of coping that develop gradually over time. Many of these responses make sense in the short term, but can unintentionally keep symptoms going or make them worse in the long run.
This post offers a practical way to begin understanding what may be maintaining your anxiety or depression, and how to create a personalised list of actions you can turn to when symptoms feel heavier.
This isn’t about fixing yourself or doing everything “right.” It’s about building awareness and choice.
When coping strategies start to maintain distress
When someone is feeling anxious or low, it’s common to:
spend more time on screens or scrolling
withdraw from others or avoid leaving the house
delay meals or rely on convenience foods
stop moving or exercising
avoid tasks or decisions that feel overwhelming
stay up late or have disrupted sleep
ruminate or replay worries
Many of these behaviours serve an understandable purpose — they reduce discomfort in the moment or help us get through the day. The problem isn’t that they happen, but that over time they can reinforce anxiety or low mood, making it harder to shift.
A helpful first step is simply noticing these patterns, without judgement.
Step one: noticing what maintains or worsens symptoms
You might start by asking yourself:
What do I tend to do more of when I’m anxious or low?
What do I tend to avoid when symptoms increase?
Which habits leave me feeling more flat, tense, or disconnected afterwards?
You could write two headings on a page:
“Things that tend to maintain or worsen my anxiety or depression”
“Things that tend to help or steady me (even a little)”
There’s no right or wrong list. This is personal.
For example, your “maintaining” list might include:
staying inside all day
cancelling plans repeatedly
skipping meals
excessive reassurance-seeking
constant news consumption
Simply naming these patterns can already soften their hold, because awareness creates choice.
Step two: identifying what helps (without pressure)
The second list is just as important — and often harder to write.
This list isn’t about motivation or positivity. It’s about identifying small, realistic actions that you already know help even slightly.
These might include:
going for a short walk
eating one nourishing meal
getting some daylight early in the day
gentle movement or stretching
showering and changing clothes
texting one supportive person
grounding or breathing practices
doing something familiar or soothing
These actions don’t need to “fix” anxiety or depression. Their role is to reduce worsening, create moments of regulation, or support steadiness.
Step three: creating an anchor list
Once you have your two lists, the next step is to create a simple anchor list — something you can return to when anxiety or low mood makes thinking difficult.
This list might include:
5–10 things that feel doable
actions that don’t require motivation to be high
reminders that don’t involve self-criticism
For example:
Step outside for five minutes
Eat something with protein
Reduce screen use for 30 minutes
Move my body gently
Ground using my senses
When anxiety or depression intensifies, decision-making becomes harder. An anchor list reduces the mental load by removing the need to think, and gently guides action.
Working with resistance and self-criticism
It’s common to notice resistance when trying to use an anchor list:
“I don’t feel like it.”
“It won’t help anyway.”
“I should be able to cope better than this.”
These thoughts are often part of anxiety or depression itself, not a sign of failure. Rather than arguing with them, it can help to shift the focus to:
What might help me not worsen how I’m feeling right now?
Supporting mental health is often about reducing harm, not achieving improvement every day.
This is not about discipline — it’s about care
A common misconception is that managing anxiety or depression requires willpower or strict routines. In reality, change is more sustainable when it’s compassionate, flexible, and responsive.
The aim of this approach is not to control symptoms, but to:
understand what influences them
reduce unintentional maintenance
increase supportive actions gradually
Even small changes, repeated consistently, can shift the overall system.
When this may not feel enough
While these strategies can be supportive, they are not a substitute for therapy — particularly where anxiety or depression is long-standing, complex, or linked to trauma.
If symptoms feel overwhelming, persistent, or begin to interfere significantly with daily life, working with a psychologist can provide a structured and supportive space to explore underlying patterns and develop more tailored strategies.
Final thoughts
Anxiety and depression are not personal failures. They are shaped by experience, stress, biology, and context. Developing awareness of what maintains distress — and having a list to anchor to during harder moments — can be a gentle but powerful step toward change.
You don’t need to do everything at once. Start with noticing. Then choose one small thing.